Posted in widow

Who the hell is the New Denise?

So I gave myself this year to figure myself out.  I have been trying to discover the new Denise and what I want from life.  I have been a teacher most of my adult life.  I loved teaching…but not anymore.  I am also a counselor.  Which I always wanted to be.  I love helping people.  I’ve always enjoyed working with adolescents and I thought that would make me happy to be a middle school counselor.  Nope.  Don’t want that anymore.  So what am I suppose to do now?  Who is this new Denise and where is she going to go from here?  This is the question that has been set in front of me pretty much since Pat died.  I have pondered in great depths what is important to me and how I want to live my life.  I want to be happy…well shit so does everybody.  But what does that mean to me now?  I know I don’t want a job that I go to and I hate or I am miserable with.  I want to do something that I enjoy the majority of the time.  I want to live a life full of passion and purpose.  I want to do something that is bigger than me; something that makes a difference. But not in the classroom and not working with kids anymore.  It’s just not where my focus in life is.  I want something more.

So what am I talking about?   I have been searching and searching for an answer as to how I am going to make a living for the next 20 years or so and I think I have figured it out.  I think I have always known what I wanted to do, I am just still struggling with how to do it.  Like I said in the beginning…I am a teacher and a counselor… I am also a widow.    I love to write.  What I want to do is to help other widows get through the grief process and move forward with their lives.  I want to inspire others and I want to reach other widows through my experiences.  That’s why I have been writing all of this.  This is why I have been writing a book.  This is what I want to do.

I think that knowing this is a great first step.  Now I need to figure out how the hell to make it happen.  I honestly believe that something will come along…a sign or an angel in my path that will lead me in the direction of where I want to be.  I think I have known all along that I am here to help others.  That’s why I choose the professions I did in life.  I had no idea I would become a widow and that my skills would be used to help others in that situation, but it is….and I am. I think I have found the reasons why…I have found my purpose.

You may notice my writings may change a bit.  I may change the website. I may change the voice of my writing. I may write a hell of a lot more. Some may not be so great…I’m learning.  I’m trying.   I know what I want now and I’m ready to go after it. I hope you join me along the way.  I think it’s going to be an amazing journey.

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