My new beginning…

This blog was originally written for the purpose of me rediscovering myself as I entered my 40’s, but  life brings us obstacles that changes everything.  I thought getting older was going to be greatest challenge of my 40’s.  Losing my husband to cancer made aging seem like a gift.  I have struggled for the past 3 1/2 years with being a caregiver for my husband Pat.  I cared for him, I watched him die, and I have had to continue living without him.  I wanted to lay down and die with him, but I have three beautiful boys who need me.  I am still here for a reason and I have needed to embrace this new life I have been left with.  It is not the life I thought I would ever have.  I never imagined being a widow in my early 40’s, but here I am.

A new beginning.  Living forward is the only option I am allowing myself.  I am trying to see the positive in this journey, though it is a difficult road I travel.


I am a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother of three rambunctious boys, a friend, a teacher and a counselor.  But what I have come to realize recently is…I am none of these thing, all of these things, and so much more.  Nearing my 40th birthday, I’ve discovered that I have lost me.  I am searching for pure happiness; to reach my full potential; to find my true self.  I have had things happen to me in my life and I have never fully reflected on the significant role they have played in the person I have become.  This has brought me to my new beginning.  Come with me as I begin the journey of my life.

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