This blog was originally written for the purpose of me rediscovering myself as I entered my 40’s, but life brings us obstacles that changes everything. I thought getting older was going to be greatest challenge of my 40’s. Losing my husband to cancer made aging seem like a gift. I have struggled for the past 3 1/2 years with being a caregiver for my husband Pat. I cared for him, I watched him die, and I have had to continue living without him. I wanted to lay down and die with him, but I have three beautiful boys who need me. I am still here for a reason and I have needed to embrace this new life I have been left with. It is not the life I thought I would ever have. I never imagined being a widow in my early 40’s, but here I am.
A new beginning. Living forward is the only option I am allowing myself. I am trying to see the positive in this journey, though it is a difficult road I travel.
ORIGINAL POSTING 2012
I am a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother of three rambunctious boys, a friend, a teacher and a counselor. But what I have come to realize recently is…I am none of these thing, all of these things, and so much more. Nearing my 40th birthday, I’ve discovered that I have lost me. I am searching for pure happiness; to reach my full potential; to find my true self. I have had things happen to me in my life and I have never fully reflected on the significant role they have played in the person I have become. This has brought me to my new beginning. Come with me as I begin the journey of my life.