Significant moments happen everyday. The problem with these moments, is that we don’t always realize they are significant until we have some distance from the event and can reflect on the impact they have made. Unfortunately there are those moments that when they occur…the second they occur, you know they are significant and you know that you will never be the same. This third significant moment in my life is one of those. I can remember the moment clear as day and I knew immediately I would never look at my life in the same way. This day was August 9,2014.
It all began August 3. My husband Pat, hadn’t been feeling100% for a few days and it seemed as though he was fighting a bug, as we all do from time to time. We were having our annual “beach” party and had a lot of work to do to prepare. Unfortunately, he didn’t have the energy to get up and do anything. He rested throughout the day so he would have energy for our guests. He felt bad that I was busy and decided he was going to rake up the beach. He was working for a few minutes and when I turned to look at him, he was white as a ghost and dripping in sweat. He was breathing heavy and he looked terrible. He went to lay down and get him self going for the party. Fortunately, the party was early ending and we were able to go to bed at a decent hour. He had tried to take it easy throughout the night, but soon after we went to bed, he started to throw up and felt warm.
The next day, he stayed in bed and tried to rest. He was exhausted within minutes and was white and sweaty. He went up and down with fevers, and slept a lot. By Monday he was still feeling terrible, and decided to tell me that he was having chest pains and thought we should go to the doctor on Tuesday. I didn’t know what to do, so I took him to an urgent care down the street. They gave him an ekg, which he failed. They wanted to transport him by ambulance to the emergency room less than 1/2 mile away. We could see the hospital from the room we were in. After arguing about the ambulance for a bit, they released him so I could drive him to the hospital. Stupidly, I didn’t know where to park and found a spot at the bottom of the hill and we walked up to the er. Poor Pat. He couldn’t breathe and his heart was hurting but he made it up the hill and was immediately taken back in a wheelchair. They gave him another ekg, which he again failed. This meant he was going to be admitted to the hospital. They tested his blood to see if there were any heart enzymes released which would indicate a heart attack…there were none there. He was not having a heart attack. We were relieved and thought he was going to be discharged quickly with a stern talking too about quitting to smoke, eating better and going to see a doctor for regular check ups. But this slowly disappeared after day after day of tests and doctors. They couldn’t figure out what was wrong. Not until August 9.
This was the day that changed our world in a flash. When a doctor walked into our room, looked at our three boys and said we need to get them out of the room, I knew what was coming….
Widow with Wings 