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“The first step is that you have to say that you can” Will Smith

And so it goes.  Starting this blog is something I have wanted to do for some time.  For some reason fear has held me back.  Fear of what people will think, fear of having nothing to say, fear of having too much to say.  I’ve also been able to come up with a million excuses not to write.  It has been 16 days since my last post.  Why?  Let’s see..I’m tired, the boys are crazy tonight, I’d rather sit and do nothing, I’d rather watch t.v., I don’t know what to say, the computer is running slow, I didn’t charge the laptop, and so on.  Really I have no excuse. I just haven’t had the confidence to do it.  So here I am.  I am going to start again with saying Yes I can.  I can do this, and even if no one cares about what I have to write, I care about what I have to say.  

My new goal for myself is to write a post everyday for 1 week.  No excuses.  If I can do that…No I can do that and when I do, I will continue on with my writing and feel proud.  I want to make a change in my life and figure things out.  If I don’t take the risk and see what is truly inside,I will never be able to reach this goal.  

My last post focused on the first significant moment in my life…Todd.  My stalker who changed me in ways I never really knew.  He changed my feelings of security and trust, my self image and confidence.  The experience pushed my life and my focus in a new direction. There were two more significant moments in my life that are quite a story.  I think tomorrow I will share the events of my own personal, 9/11.

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